A big day

Finally! After a year of annoying bureaucratic back-and-forth, the adoption is complete! It was a brief but incredibly sweet ceremony. After an hour of waiting, we went into a courtroom with our lawyer and there was the judge with a desk covered with stuffed animals. How intimidating, right? So the lawyer asks me and Agapito a series of pro forma questions, the judge verified a couple of details, and then he performed the speech act of making Lucero officially my daughter. Then he said to Lucero: "What this means is that you are hers and she is yours forever and ever."

Funny thing was what happened next. Lucero gave Agapito a big hug and they were grinning at each other, and time stopped for a minute. In that moment it was just the two of them, just like they were when I first met them over five years ago. They had a special bond I've never seen between any other father and daughter. I'll never do justice to what it was like. Just like the details of another person's dreams will never be as important to a listener as they are to the dreamer, I can't convey why memories of Agapito and Lucero's daily routines are so powerful. I try to keep this blog light, and I know the back story to our family is intense enough that it doesn't require dramatization. But there's something very intense about a father and daughter's daily routines that have developed in the wake of losing the wife/mommy. The afternoon nap, the post-nap grapes, the walk to the playground, the throwing of the ball, the cutting up of the chicken and broccoli for dinner, the bath in the big kitchen sink. And the physicality of Agapito throwing Lucero up in the air, tickling her, holding her upside down while she laughs hysterically. The way that he would look at her when she was sleeping.

And there they were in the courtroom, hugging and loving each other. I don't know what to make of that moment, or the presence of those memories in that moment, but that's what struck me in that courtroom and it was beautiful.

The judge invited Lucero to choose a stuffed animal and to hold the gavel and sit in his seat for a picture. I felt vaguely sacrilegious, myself. And as we left I wondered if it was okay for me to turn my back on the judge. Like maybe I should have genuflected and crossed myself first. Anyway, below are the pictures we three took outsides of the courthouse afterward.



Happy times.